o.0 NEVER ENDING APOLOGY o.0

i want to be someone like you ma... i want to be the greatest mother like you...
i know i gave you the biggest disappoint a much loved daughter could ever give...
but i still want to stay beside you...
i want to feel your love...
the comfort you could ever give a confused child...
dont ever think you've done wrong...
neither think that youre not a good mother...
your the greatest parents a child could have..
you gave me everything...
even gave me more than you could offer...
but i still have done wrong...
i still gave you disappoint..
i still gave you pain...
it's me who've done wrong...
your the greatest parents...
the greatest family...
dont ever blame yourselves...
i am disappointed at myself ...
that i never gave value to your words...
now im sufferring the consequences...
i never gave value to my family...
i am such a bad child...
i never deserve to be your child...

SORRY...

o.0 I THINK GOD CAN EXPLAIN o.0

im not a catholic neither a religious one... i'm seeking comfort.. seeking answers to the questions "WHY ?" ... a light to my clouded mind... confused soul... ive been attending the MISA de GALLO,trying to wake up at 2am...maybe my 3 wishes would be granted..maybe an answer from HIM would heard...

as the christian song goes...

" in the wilderness ill be in your heart where i will speak "

all i have to do is listen...

i have plans laid out in front of me...that makes my head and heart heavier... an answer came to me on the a sunday mass... when a person has a confused mind... first is to let yourself be in a PRAYERFUL SILENCE... then show HUMILITY, not deciding for our own..not what we plan always happen but HIS... LIFT our plans to HIM and let him do the rest... and we always have to say YES to HIM...



There's a lot of things I understand
And there's a lot of things that I don't want to know
But you're the only face I recognize
It's so damn sweet of you to look me in the eyes

It's alright, I'm ok
I think God can explain
I believe I'm the same
I get carried away
It's alright, I'm ok
I think God can explain
I'm relieved, I'm relaxed
I'll get over it in the end

The scent of vaseline in the summertime
The feel of an ice cube melting over time
The world seems bigger than both of us
Yet it seems so small when I begin to cry

It's alright, I'm ok
I think God can explain
I believe I'm the same
I get carried away
It alright, I'm ok
I think God can explain
I'm relieved, I'm relaxed
I'll get over it in the end

I'm so much better than you guessed
I'm so much bigger than you guessed
I'm so much brighter than you guessed

It's alright, I'm ok
I think God can explain
I believe I'm the same
I get carried away
It's alright, I'm ok
I think God can explain
I'm relieved, I'm relaxed
I'll get off of your back

I think God can explain, I think God can explain
I think God can explain

o.0 TIRED 0.o

this is the worst day of my life... the beginning of the consequences i have to face...
i have no other words to say...nothing could ever make things easy... even an apology isn't enough.... my mind kept on spinning looking for the brightest light, waiting for a hand to hold... a comfort that a warmest embrace could only give... now is the realization that life really isnt easy... a single move, may it be small can make the world go round,make you go crazy,make you dumb,...

im a person who always looks for the swiftest escape out...with the help of my closest confidante,my saviour,my sister... my family... who treated me as a shielded child... waiting for me to mature... but now... those people are slowly fading away..making me realize that im old enough to face the world...taking away the shield...now im feeling the greatest pain the world can offer... im bound to face the world .... things do happen for a reason... may be this has to happen, i have to go through the narowest paths of life to learn how to stand...

im only holding to you most ate... i feel your anger... but i feel your love for me the most... the thought that tomorrow will differ from today... i am not a child who thinks only of myself but now a person nurturing a new life to share with the greates family i have...

a never ending apology...